Hey!!!!
Its been a minute since I last blogged, but all is well. Vals came- and went- same old same old...lol. Red everywhere, chocolate from Ivorian cocoa, proposals here and there… But it was good. I got serenaded by a former rummie form Arcadias Spring 2010 Class (1P1D dada!!!) I also had a chance to be involved in organizing a singles dinner for our Church at the Tribe (I have to hand it to the Purpose Centre Single’s Events Committee, you rock!). There is no need to tell you that you needed to be there, the dinner was so awesome hadi the Couples Ministry forsook their own to join the party, ha ha! That, combined with the Worship Team’s Naivasha Escapade to Hells Gate National Park, I have to admit, made Feb was a great month.
Now, at the beginning of the year, I had stated that I had three instalments from the book The Law of Recognition by Mike Murdock that I wanted to share with you. Without any exaggeration, this book -which I read several times last year-, has changed my life in more ways than one. Get it if you can.
Well, this chapter, and that from T.D. Jakes Before You Do on the same topic, have become my checklist when it comes to relationships. Though they are Christian based, the principles they are derived from are universal. Well, the last part is quite lengthy, so, I will break it up into three so that it’s digestible, here goes:
RECOGNITION OF THE MATE GOD HAS APPROVED FOR YOU:
The title may not be thaaat catchyyy, but trust me the info conveyed in this chapter, would not only save your life and guarantee your happiness in the days to come, it would also safeguard the well being of your posterity. I don’t know about you, I am tired of broken homes. Children have to deal with so much already, without their pillars in life crumbling..let me not get started,lets go to the book:
………….
You and I are designed for connection. Aloneness creates vulnerability.(Gen 2:8) That’s why it is good to have someone to have and to hold...Nevertheless, God will never give you a gift that will replace His Presence (Psalm 16:11)
Your mate is Gods gift to you. That gift is intended to:
1.Protect your focus
2.Reduce distractions
3.Create a climate of protection.
Focus creates blindness. When you are looking North, you cant see South. For a child of Destiny, that makes all the difference. Unfortunately, some who qualify for your attention are often unqualified to receive your heart.
Here are some points to consider before you commit to anyone, no matter how charming, gifted or anointed they are:
BEFORE YOU DO:
Think twice if you do not possess a passionate desire to give to them. The proof of love is the desire to give. The proof of love is also the investment of time. Are you willing to give your best to them? Are you willing to spend time with them?
Think twice if they do not possess a passionate desire to give back to you. This just does not only apply to tangible presents...a listening ear, flexibility, patience and willingness to be corrected are great gifts in any relationship.
Think twice if your personal achievements do not create excitement in them. Ask yourself, when good things happen, who do you desire to telephone? Aha! Celebration is a compass. When uncommon love exists, uncommon celebration is normal. Uncommon love does not compete, it enjoys.
Think twice if they have not been captivated by what has captivated you. They must be stirred up by the same thing that stirs you. You know a man - or a woman- not by studying them, but by studying their focus. What are they focusing on? Where do the two of you have di- vision?
Think twice if you have lost your desire to impress them. You are a walking message system to those you love. Something is wrong when you no longer desire to present the best to your mate.
Think twice if they never ask quality questions concerning your greatest dreams and goals. Questions reveal desire. Questions also reveal humility. (Lets also take the shoe to the other foot: have you asked them quality questions concerning their dreams and aspirations? Do you really care?)
Think twice if they ignore worthy counsel from qualified mentors in their life. Who are their heroes? You become like those you admire. You adopt the habits of those you envy. Always seek to know: who is their dominant mentor at that time? At whose feet do they sit consistently? A mentor is a prophecy of the protégé. Take note: if they live against the counsel of their pastor, they are living undisciplined, uncovered and unadvised. Tragedy is scheduled. Their sin will find them out (and you better not be with them when that happens…)
Think twice if they have not impressed their pastor. Note that the Man of God over their life is God’s Ambassador to them. The report that Gods Embassy in their life has of them (most of the time) is what the Government of Heaven thinks about them. I don’t know about you, but I want the best of Heaven, so that I may wake up every morning with a song of thanksgiving rather than a cry for grace and mercy. If they fail this level of divine authentication, think twice.
Think twice if you do not see continuous improvement in the relationship. Improvement is revealed by the decrease of conflict. Conflict results from opposing goals, philosophies and beliefs.
Think twice if they show little pain or remorse concerning past mistakes and sins. Uncorrected conduct becomes repeated conduct. Don’t be fooled- it is the fear of God that keeps a mate faithful, not money, and definitely not beauty. Again, note that you will never respect anyone you are capable of deceiving. If they succeed in deceiving you, and worse still, get away with it, they will never respect you.
Think twice if they enjoy the climate and atmosphere of rebels. Do those who break God’s Law titillate them? Whose company do they enjoy? Whose cause do they support? What are they tolerating? Selah. Whatever grieves God should grieve us. In quietness and trust shall be your strength.
Think twice if the atmosphere of unbelievers excites them. Here I do not say that you should never spend time with unbelievers. On the contrary, spend more time with them than you presently do, only do not conduct yourself in a more unbeliever-like manner than they just because you are in their presence. Consider your potential mate: do they use the presence of unbelievers as an excuse to let loose and sin. Worse still, do they live out their sin vicariously through watching others acting it out? hmmm….Child of God, let your delight be in the Presence of the Father, all day, every day.
For now, let me let it simmer….
Shalom.
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